Overwhelmed, Lost, Confused and Frustrated…Only the Real “You” Will Do

young adults Do you allow outside forces to control how you live? Do  you sometimes doubt who you are because you say one thing yet do another? Do you follow the crowd even when your opinions differ from the crowd? Do you pretend to be someone else for the sake of gaining acceptance? 

Acting in ways that are contrary to your fundamental nature trigger internal conflict and self-doubt.

Consider these three scenarios:

  • A 27-year-old woman is loving her single life. But because many of her friends are marrying and starting families, she admits that although she's not ready for marriage, she's actually considering settling down.
  • A 22-year-old dancer recently relocated to Los Angeles. He’s booked his first job and is ecstatic. However, he soon discovers that the show's content is morally contrary to his values. He promised himself that he  would not compromise his formal dance training to convey messages he finds offensive and demeaning. He says nothing and begins the rehearsal process.
  • An 18-year-old girl seriously considers breaking up with her boyfriend because his excessive drinking leads to bouts of violence. She understands intellectually that she can’t help him but worries that breaking up will “destroy him.” She remains in the relationship.

The real you is the magnificent you and acting in accordance with your values and beliefs is what it means to be true to yourself. Stand up for yourself.

A meaningful life is one in which your uniqueness, individuality, and behaviors match your values. That's the best way to ensure that your values match up with your actions. Occasionally take an honest yet loving personal inventory.

Standing up for yourself is about finding ways for you to be comfortable when asking for what you want in a way that respects others and that others respect. Treating yourself well is what sets the standard for others to follow. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you lose power because you think you don’t have any. It’s there.   
"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." ~ Raymond Hull

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