Do you allow outside forces to control how you live?
Do you sometimes doubt who you are because you say one thing yet do another?
Do you follow the crowd even when your opinions differ from the crowd?
Do you pretend to be someone else for the sake of gaining acceptance?
Acting in ways that are contrary to your fundamental nature trigger internal conflict and self-doubt.
Consider these three scenarios:
- A 27-year-old woman is loving her single life. But because many of her friends are marrying and starting families, she admits that although she’s not ready for marriage, she’s actually considering settling down.
- A 22-year-old dancer recently relocated to Los Angeles. He’s booked his first job and is ecstatic. However, he soon discovers that the show’s content is morally contrary to his values. He promised himself that he would not compromise his formal dance training to convey messages not on brand for the image he want to convey. He says nothing and begins the rehearsal process.
- An 18-year-old girl seriously considers breaking up with her boyfriend because his excessive drinking leads to bouts of violence. She understands intellectually that she can’t help him but worries that breaking up will “destroy him.” She remains in the relationship.
Occasionally take an honest yet loving personal inventory to check that your actions match up with your values.