EP 004 | The Art of Self Love with Cabrini, The Gangsta Chef



Meet my friend Cabrini! You’ll hear more from her in the future, but today is your introduction to Cabrini, the Gangsta Chef.

Unlike some of us, Cabrini does what she sets her mind to do. She’s owned multiple brick-and-mortar businesses, has been a public speaker and written a book…but what most lights her fire is cooking and inspiring others to fall in love with themselves.

My conversation with Cabrini is real and off-the-cuff. That’s why we get into occasional side conversations. We’re just keeping it real, right, Cabrini?

In today’s episode you’ll learn:

– About Cabrini’s unorthodox Lent campaign, “Do What You Love for 40 Days”
– Why Cabrini believes anyone can find calm in nature, even if they don’t live near the ocean
– Why Cabrini and Laurie will actually never have to talk about the Lakers
– Why, in show business, watching parents watch their kids perform is sometimes the best entertainment

Laurie:  Please hold. This is Laurie Talks. You sure kept me waiting.

Cabrini:  I love keeping you waiting, Laurie Talks. How are you?

Laurie:  Let’s dispense with the small talk. So listen, this is how it’s going. This is the podcast. Do you know why? I had to change direction because every time I’d announce that the phone lines were open, no calls would come in. And the few calls that would trickle in, most felt contrived. So I, rather than wait on my audience to create the show, I’m reaching out to friends and family to say, “I need you to come on and help me create meaningful content.” And so today’s guest is extra-special, not just because when I asked her, she called me to say, “What’s the topic?”

I said to her, “Do you trust me?”

Of course, it took her ten minutes to answer with a yes, but eventually she said, “Yes, I trust you.”

So Miss Cabrini, today’s show features you, and you and I get to talk about whatever we want. So, listeners…

Cabrini:  That sounds lovely.

Laurie:  Gangster Chef Cabrini. But if you Google or Instagram you, you have so many accounts because you’ve moved in so many directions. But we don’t have to talk about that. I have two suggestions. You ready?

Cabrini:  I’m ready.

Laurie:  You and I are complete opposites. You sleep late into the day. I’m up early. And the other way in which we’re opposites is if you have an idea, whether it’s brick-and-mortar, whether it’s book, no matter what it is, you get it done very, very, very, very expediently and efficiently — or it appears to be efficient. I don’t know. But you get it done. Whereas I’m the type… I’m like Abe Lincoln. If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend seven sharpening my axe. But yet we always have a lot to talk about.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the show. My friend and yours, Cabrini.

Now, Cabrini, here we go. Round of applause. Tell everyone about you.

Cabrini:  Oh, wow. That’s going to take too long.

Laurie:  Forget that. You’ll come back anyway. Do you like my ideas, or do you want to talk about something else? I do have one question for you. In preparation for this episode, I went to your Instagram, your Cabrini… Don’t tell me. Don’t tell me. Gangster Chef Cabrini. It looks like the account where, right now, February 2020, you’re putting most of your energy into. My question to you is where do you do your teachings?

And the reason I’m asking… I know Laurie Talks talks a lot. The reason I’m asking is because…

Cabrini:  You have asked many, many questions and have not let me answer. Not a damn one of them.

Laurie:  Just be patient. I know. We’re not going to talk about me. But, for real, you know a lot. You helped get me off the cliff a couple of times in the last few months. I’m finished. I’m done. You may proceed. I am your humble listener. And cue music. Cabrini, go. I said, “Cue music…” Okay, go.

Cabrini:  And now you put me on the spot. No, no. Let’s just have a general conversation, Laurie Talks.

Laurie:  That’s what we’re going to do. You could answer my question first. The first question is where do you do your teachings?

Cabrini:  I’m really learning how to use these platforms. Right now I’m just posting my food content, and I’m not doing any teaching. There’s no teaching yet.

Laurie:  Oh, okay. I didn’t know. You have a ton of stuff out there anyway.

Cabrini:  Actually it’s a ton of stuff from past years, and a lot of times, what I’ve found is that Facebook and/or Instagram will not let you delete. Because once you delete it, if anybody clicks on it, it resurfaces.

Laurie:  Oh, really? Okay. So why do you want to delete it?

Cabrini:  Well, like you said, you have so many, people can’t find the current ones. Or it takes them long because…

Laurie:  Are you proud of your old content?

Cabrini:  Absolutely.

Laurie:  Well, to me, those are all your building blocks.

Cabrini:  Yeah. So then I decided not to delete them. But, again, most people will come on and say, “Which one is the one?” So I thought maybe I needed to get rid of them. But now I realized this year that, much like you just said, all of it is content that is valuable.

Laurie:  Right. So you and I have lived, even though we’re opposites in so many directions, one thing that we do have in common is we’re both always taking risks and moving forward. So ever since I’ve known you, you’ve always been opening brick-and-mortars over and over and over and just being in the game, writing books, selling books, public speaking, Toastmasters, restaurant businesses. What’s your endgame? What do you ultimately want to do?

Cabrini:  Ultimately, because I’ve done all of that, what I love doing the most is cooking and coaching.

Laurie:  What’s that noise in the background?

Cabrini:  I love inspiring people. It’s a bird. I can’t get rid of the bird. [Inaudible 0:06:13].

Laurie:  No. Coaching and inspiring people.

Cabrini:  Like you… You’re very… What’s the word I want to use besides brass and…? Like right in the middle of my heartfelt conversation, you [inaudible 0:06:28]. And I think you do that because you know me. Now I’m sure… Or maybe if somebody else was on here who’d be a little more shy, you might not be so harsh.

Laurie:  No, that’s why you’re on, because I can talk to you this way. That’s the beauty of it. That’s why I’m changing the format, because when people call me, I have to be nice to them. You, I can just treat you like I always do.

Move away from the birds. It’s annoying. It’s unprofessional. It’s almost like you’re holding the mic to the bird. Really, Cabrini?

Cabrini:  Here’s the thing. To say that a bird chirping is unprofessional is completely out of context. A bird is a bird. Now, you need to just enjoy the chirping of the damn bird, and let’s move on.

Laurie:  Let’s move on. We shall move on. But I would think that you could find an environment that was quiet.

Cabrini:  Not when everybody else is in the house.

Laurie:  I’m just saying.

Cabrini:  This is quiet. I’m outside with the… Listen to me. I am in my element. If I was at the beach, you’d be hearing the ocean. Right now I’m in the yard, and you’re hearing the bird. Move on.

Laurie:  Okay, so you go to the beach a lot. Why do you go there?

Cabrini:  Oh my god. There’s nothing more calming than hearing the waves of the ocean. I could sit out and look at that water — which I’m sure most people do; that’s why they go — for hours. I remember my sister asked me the other day, she says, “What do you do when you go to the beach?”

And it occurred to me that people that don’t go to the beach don’t realize the calming effect that happens. People feel like — well, my sister, in particular, feels like you need to be doing something. You can’t just be sitting there looking at the water. Then what?

Laurie:  I get it.

Cabrini:  Yeah. It makes me feel good. I’m looking forward to moving to Redondo Beach. That’s what I want to live. I’ve lived everywhere in Los Angeles, and that’s the place I want to live.

Laurie:  Beautiful. You know what? When I came to L.A., that’s all of wanted, was beach, ocean, some kind of closeness to it. What if you don’t have a beach? What if you live in rural America? You can still find that same kind of peace in nature. Do you agree?

Cabrini:  Yeah, like right here in the backyard. Yeah. You can listen to the trees. I mean…the trees and the birds.

Laurie:  As for what you’re doing…

Cabrini:  Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. It comes from within. I don’t care where you are, if you don’t have that still, calm feeling within, you could be at the beach, and you’re still loud.

Laurie:  So how does one get that still, calm nature? Or how do you know if you need it or want to seek it? You know what I mean?

Cabrini:  Say it again?

Laurie:  What are you doing over there? You listening to me?

Cabrini:  Yes.

Laurie:  Or you’re listening to those birds?

Cabrini:  Oh, Lord.

Laurie:  I said how do know if you need or want or want to put the energy into finding that still, calm nature? Because the world is moving fast, and technology has our attention. So we’re more distracted. What’s the payoff? How do you know if you need to find those few minutes to center yourself if over never done it?

Cabrini:  Everybody needs it, and I think because people don’t take the time, it has to take something to happen to you for you to find the time. People have to… They talk about stress kills. People have to either have a nervous breakdown or get into an accident… Something has to get you to slow down so that you can see that you need to take time. And this is what I spend my time doing whenever I’m talking to people, is to get them to fall in love with themselves. Take a moment with yourself.

Speaking of which, this particular Lent, I’m doing a campaign called Do What You Love for 40 Days. Lent has always been about — what is it? They tell people to give up what you love for 40 days. And I think that is absolutely ludicrous. Because why would God want you to give up what you love for 40 days? What point [is that proving 0:11:33]?

So what I’m doing is 40 days of what I love. And I’m teaching people to find… If you don’t know, find something that you love. And then once you do what you love every single day for 40 days, when you start doing something that you don’t like, you’ll know the difference. You become more aware of it.

Now I spend my life doing only what I love. So this is coming very easy for me. But I have found that people have this rote existence. They go to a job they hate. Then they go home to a relationship they hate. Then they have to hear their children crying. And some people, like you, hate birds chirping. So these things are what people do every single day.

Now how do you take the time to sit and hear the birds chirping? Or go to the ocean and find, “Oh, I really like this. This makes me feel good”?

[Inaudible 0:12:45].

A long way to answer your question.

Laurie:  Makes sense.

Cabrini:  Yeah.

Laurie:  Yeah.

Cabrini:  So how ’bout those Lakers? Hello.

Laurie:  I know nothing.

Cabrini:  Oh, well, actually you do.

Laurie:  Not about… I only like watching sports when it’s the playoffs or the World Series. The big ones.

Cabrini:  Well, I just said that because, you know, that’s what people say when people get stuck. “So, how ’bout those Lakers?”

Laurie:  You and me, Cabrini, we’re never stuck. You want to hear something? The reason I’m so quiet is because this morning… You know I’ve been going through a lot in my life the last couple of months. Right? So I took a little girl to school yesterday morning and realized and it Ash Wednesday. And my brother, who is the only person I know that gives up something for Lent, so I asked Brie this morning, “Hey, are you giving up anything for Lent?”

And she says, “As long as you’ve knew me, I’ve never given up anything. But I always set intentions.”

So she had her intelligent conversation about intentions, but I made up my mind yesterday. Guess what I was giving up for Lent. Excuse making. So I was going to do — this is what I told myself… And I thought about this last week. But then when I realized it was Lent, I thought, well, this is a perfect time to just dive right in, because I never… I mean, I give up something for Lent, I last five hours. So [inaudible 0:14:33] fine to do that, to give up something I love.

But I committed to doing something I love, and that is creating 40 podcasts in 40 days, which is why I was texting you this morning like “Wake up. Let’s go.” If every for the next 40 days — I don’t care what’s happening, because what I realized is what you said about how life hits, and we wait for tragedy or…what’s something to wake us up? It doesn’t have to be tragedy. In my case, it wasn’t tragedy. It was just like a beautiful situation that unfolded.

But through that I’ve learned that you can put your life on hold or you can keep moving forward with your goals, despite what’s happening in your daily circumstances. You can find five minutes for yourself or ten, or in my case, 30 minutes to create a full episode and to get a podcast going. Otherwise, it would never happen. So thank you for… So you and I, we’re not stuck. We don’t need to talk about, “Hey, how ’bout them Lakers.”

Cabrini:  Right. Good. Thank you.

Laurie:  That’s why I didn’t even answer you. Like, really? Come on. So that was very good. Thank you very much.

Cabrini:  We’re on the same path as it relates to—

Laurie:  Hello, aren’t we always, even though we get on each other’s nerves? But we’re always moving in the same direction. And, hello. That’s my point. Brings us full circle.

Cabrini:  Yeah. And by the way, you don’t get on my nerves.

Laurie:  Are you sure?

Cabrini:  You’re a smartass, but you don’t get on my nerves. No. I wouldn’t allow that.

Laurie:  Oh. So you had to go there. But that’s what I like about you. You know why? Because you’re always upping your game, not just your intellectual game, but your self-respect game. You feel me?

Cabrini:  Yeah.

Laurie:  Thank you. Well, I’m going to say our work here is finished, unless you have something else you’d like to add, as long as it’s not about “Hey, those Lakers…”

You know what? I do like watching the big games because it’s something about watching that level of emotion, both with the audience and the players and the coaches and the families — just watching to elevation of someone you love and someone that you support, whether you are into what they do or not.

Like sometimes I feel sorry for some of the… Let’s say a real good star who is a great singer, but then you find their voice annoying. Their parents may find their voice annoying, but their parents would never know because of all the love that they have for them. They just love it. And that’s what I enjoy about show business. Sometimes the show is watching the parents watch their kids. Pure bliss and pure love. That’s where I am.

So, how ’bout them Lakers?

What’s on your agenda for today?

Cabrini:  Going to the beach.

Laurie:  Going to Rodondo Beach?

Cabrini:  Yeah.

Laurie:  Go by yourself?

Cabrini:  Me and Karen and Layla.

Laurie:  Ugh. I mean, oh, that’s so nice.

Cabrini:  Whatever.

Laurie:  No, I love dogs. Do you know that a dog has been over here? That’s right.

Cabrini:  You’re in New York right now?

Laurie:  No, I’m in California.

Cabrini:  Oh, okay.

Laurie:  Yeah, a dog came to this apartment.

Cabrini:  You said you took a girl to school, and I was like…

Laurie:  Oh, I was in New York yesterday. So you know the whole situation. We had another court date this past week, and I have custody of a six year old. But, like I said, I could use that as an excuse, and that’s what I realized, “Hey, this thing that’s happening, Laurie Johnson, this is going down. So if you want to do this podcast, you better get it on and popping.” Enter Cabrini.

So tell them about you, where they can find you. Because I’m going to tell you guys, Cabrini is a genius. She really is. And she’s good for talking you off the cliff when you think you’re losing your mind and providing direction. Like when you’re overwhelmed, just providing some direction.

So tell them how the find you.

Cabrini:  Cabrini Chef Schnyder on Facebook. And on Instagram, it’s Gangsta Chef Cabrini. Yeah, that’s it.

Laurie:  Alright. Thank you very much, Cabrini. I appreciate you.

Cabrini:  Thank you for the opportunity.

Laurie:  You’re welcome.

Cabrini:  How are we going to end this? I want to end on something positive.

Laurie:  I’m going to end it, but you kept interrupting me. I was getting ready to do my closing.

Cabrini:  Oh. Don’t do your closing yet. Anyone that is listening to this, I want you to take five minutes. And I know five minutes may seems like—

Laurie:  Could I say something?

Cabrini:  —a long time. No. I’m in the middle of my ending.

Laurie:  But you don’t have to say “To anyone listening,” because if they’re listening, they’re listening. Sorry. Go.

Cabrini:  See, you’re a smartass.

Laurie:  Sorry.

Cabrini:  To those of you that are listening…

Laurie:  You don’t have to say that.

Cabrini:  You are listening if you are listening. And that means I’m talking to you that’s listening. Why are you not listening?

Laurie:  I’m listening.

Cabrini:  See, that’s why I said that, because some people, like you, might not be listening. So if I say, “To those that are listening,” that means they’re going to now listen.

Laurie:  Well, it just sounds redundant. It sounds like someone who doesn’t…

Cabrini:  No. It doesn’t sound redundant.

Laurie:  Well, I don’t know if it’s redundant.

Cabrini:  Because you’re not paying attention. That’s what I’m talking about.

Laurie:  I think I’m paying atten— you know what it sounds like to me?

Cabrini:  Some people can have this shit going on in their ear, but they’re not listening.

Laurie:  I know.

Cabrini:  There’s a difference in hearing versus listening.

Laurie:  Oh, I get it. No, I understand. You’re saying the difference between hearing and listening. But I was talking about was the use of the language, like someone who starts a letter with, “I just wanted to take the time to thank you…” No, you are doing it. I didn’t wanted to do it. I am doing it. Sorry.

Cabrini:  There is a difference though.

Laurie:  There is a difference.

Cabrini:  Anyway, there is a difference.

Laurie:  There is a huge difference. I’m wrong. You are right. Would you please proceed?

Cabrini:  You’re not wrong. You’re just misinformed. Now shut the f*** up. So take five minutes with yourself and enjoy the view wherever you are. Spend five, ten minutes with yourself and fall in love with yourself. That’s my food for thought.

Laurie:  Okay, but how do you fall in love with yourself if you don’t feel good about yourself?

Cabrini:  It’s work. It takes work. And you have to be willing to do the work. And you can’t get someone else to love you if you don’t love you. If you’re constantly out here wanting someone to love you, then you have to find [inaudible 0:21:47] you are. That means being willing to do the work. And that is the hardest work.

Back up for minute. You talked about what am I doing now. And based on all the brick-and-mortars I’ve had, I now know that I had to take the time to find out who was Cabrini. Cabrini could open up businesses and do all that, yes. But that’s not who she is. That’s what she can do.

Who Cabrini is is an inspirer, not a motivator. I inspire you to motivate yourself, to be willing to find out who you are.

Laurie:  That’s what I was trying to say in the introduction. Have you written that down? You should write that down because that’s a great tagline for you. You inspire me to motivate myself, exactly, to do what you said. Now you have people in the background in addition to the birds. Go ahead.

Cabrini:  Yeah. So that’s the… Shut up. So that’s the work, and that’s what I love doing.

Laurie:  Will you come back on? Let’s talk about what the work looks like.

Cabrini:  Okay. Absolutely.

Laurie:  You’re going to remember that?

Cabrini:  Yes, of course.

Laurie:  Because you know I won’t.

Cabrini:  Of course I will. That’s what I’ve been doing.

Laurie:  Yeah, so we could talk about what the work looks like because if you’re 20, you have no idea what work looks like. Okay, thank you.

Cabrini:  You know, inner work? Yeah.

Laurie:  I always feel like it starts with what’s the one thing that you do really well that no one else in the world does quite like you or exactly like you. Some way where you excel. And if you can find that, then every time you might beat yourself down or feel less than, you can remember that gift that you have that exceeds everything in life and makes you happy at the same time.

Cabrini:  Yeah.

Laurie:  Okay, well, Cabrini Schnyder will be back, and we’ll talk about what the work looks like. In the meantime, this is Episode 4 on the books. It’s the end of February 2020. We’ve spoken with my good friend, Cabrini Schnyder. Check her out on Instagram and on Facebook. It was Instagram — Gangster Chef Cabrini. Facebook is…one more time, Cabrini.

Cabrini:  Cabrini Chef Schnyder.

Laurie:  There you have it. Thank you very much. Episode 4, that’s a wrap. Toodle-oo and enjoy the beach today.

Cabrini:  Bye.

Laurie:  Bye.

Cabrini:  Thank you [0:24:21].

Laurie:  Bye.

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